ive actually decided wat to do wit d blog n d space n d live journal hahah

well lets see..

 

blog is for day-2-day  updates..

space is for personal stuff..

live journal is for ventings only meant to be seen by selectd few or for my eyes only...

 

yea!

 

so personal stuff...

im feeling d same way i did wen me n psyco were on the verge of our break up...

yes its fast..

honeymoon period lum lagi habis..

i havnt seen him for more than 1 week n am missin that nene badly...

he's werkin overtime..im busy with dumbass activities..

things are different now...

well wat adds on to this is that my parents are buggin me abt d hse, d room, d seperation ...esp my dad

evrytime i enter his taxi he'll awaes talk abt d same old things over n over again..

my mum threatens to confiscate my hp n my laptop...argh

well dere goes my family...

 

wat i need now is to be sumwhere peaceful where i can enjoy d breeze with sumone hu can be there for me to be my shoulder to lean on..

because im sure i'll end up cryin just thinking abt evryting...

 

but i cant..cz ive no time to be at that peaceful place

n bcz dere's no sumone to be dere for me..

 

 

argh!

life is a pain.

 

 

 

 

 http://fudge-is-my-aphrodiziac.blogspot.com

 

link me bebeh!!

tag me too!

n HATETAGGERS NOT allowed!

 well today was totally a dance-day cz ive been dancing all day but it wasnt intensive n i wish it was...

 

ppl i have a qns. n i expect hueva reads this to send in a comment. UNDERSTAND!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

well today was a bad day at werk.. suey once again.. uniform was bigger than wat its suppose to be..i was punctual though... the suey part was when werk started..dere was dis guy in my team.. i ask him one qns he wud mumble his answer n walk away...like wth lah..wen i werk im a totally different person bcz i stay focus n try my best to work evryting to perfection...n i dun like it wen i werk with imcompetant ppl..so i tried my best ignore him n talk to him as little as possible..n of cos stop him b4 he walks away lah..well aniway

 

NEVER in my entire life did i spill a single drink on anyone, anything or anywhere...............n tonight i did.   luckily it was on the carpet lah n not on anibody...i was soooo d totally upset jz bcz of that one spill..aniwaes i was tellin shahirah for that few seconds abt wat happened n a few words to d bartender..den i was headin back.. then one of d supervisers called me to d side 'how long dus it take u to send d drinks to d guests?'  en he went on n on den i said 'it wun happen again sir' n rushed off.. otw into d ballroom shahirah said sorry n i said ' aku dah nk nangis ar (im gona cry man)..den i served d drinks..luckily it was stoppage so we all stood at d side..n i was crying silently..once d video finished, i started service again.. but wen d superviser hisham asked me whether evrythin was alrite............that's it! i cudnt take it animore.. i put back d plates, took a piece of tissue,went to one corner n started cryin like an idiot under stress....hueva passed by was curious abt wat happened n wondered hu scolded me.. den hisham quickly said ' i didnt scold her ar!' so jason(superviser) pulled me far away from d rest n let me relax..so aft i explained to him wat happened, he told me to rest at d banquet office first cz he didnt wan d guests to noe that i was cryin..so i rested dere for awhile n went back to werk...haiz.. den i became even more suey... hot water spilled onto my fingers..so thats y im puttin ice onto my fingers nw..argh...n DEN!... I  left my hp in d uniform pocket n threw d uniform into d uniform tub...so had to get out of d taxi n run back into d place.. tank god! my uniform was d top pile.. haha..aniwaes daymit tired

 

TOODLES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i was looking for a certain someone with characteristics i thought i'd nvr find in a guy again.

u actually cheered me up when i was down

n charmed with your ridiculous notions

u may not be perfect to many

but perhaps u are to me

so i hope that we'll make this relationship worthwhile

n i hope we'll last long

like many others hu have

n i'll end dis with something we ALWAES say

 

Baby! We're Fated!

 

 

F u d g e y  L o v e :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Tag Game. Pfft!


1. (the person who tagged you is) - idah!! laksa crew!

2.(your relationship with him/her is) - FBODZ bebeh n laksa crew!

3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - very d kecoh, very d klakar, sweet, cute, happy go lucky..

4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - make me laugh lyk siow while eating laksa

5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - mcspicy without d chicken! nene

6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - hahaha if i were a lesbian, will confirm hav a bomb of a time.. but unfortunately im not :)

7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - more kecoh?? idk! i like her d way she is!

8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) - for wat sia? touch wood for that to happen

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - for being a nene??

10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - erm.. go shopping wit me n d laksa crew!!

11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - a fun person to hang out with hee

12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - hyperactive noisy girl

13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is) -im focused wen i wana be, kecoh i wana be, fun wen i wana be, loveable..flirtatious..loyal..n d list GOES ON...

14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - bad-tempered, procrastinate, lazybum

15. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - aisha?? haha myself??

1.haiqal
2.yenny christina
3. iqah
4.regina
5.ilham hamberg
6.syilaa
7.xiuyi
8.rykiel
9.yana stoner!
10.screw the people who has free time =)

(Who is no.6 having a relationship with?) - asyraf.

(Is no.9 a male or female?) - feMale.

(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) - hmm.. that is IF she's interested..

(What is no.2 studying?) - taking N lvl dok

(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - omg i duno its been so long!!

(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - jap rock!!

(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - 3 other younger siblings..2 bros n youngest sister

(Will you woo no.3?) - yea to be gossip queens in crime hee

(How about no.7?) - she's a cutie..

(Is no.4 single?) - in d process bebeh

(What’s the surname of no.5?) - alermak...sory ilham i forgot ahha

(What’s the hobby of no.4?) - sewing?? haha shopping??

(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - inseperable ar haha lol

(Where is no.2 studying at?) - queenstown sec

(Say something casual about no.1) - My bestfren!! he noes me better than anione else

(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - i'm already in love with her.. hilarious nene

(Where does no.9 live?) - :) idk hee

(What colour does no.4 like?) - RED!!!

(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - They don't know each other.

(Does no.7 like no.2?) - hw to like if they dun even noe each other

(How did you get to know no.2?) - dancemates bebeh 

(Does no.1 have any pets?) - NO!

(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) - yeah. sexy !!
 

well i overslept so i didnt get to go to sch to practice 'within' so i just stayed home n played games n eat yoghurt..haha well decided to surprise monsta by meeting him at gombak at 9pm bt bochor rahsia lah so aniwae..s i left to  go to shangri-la to get my pay...saw d hansem superviser frm dt nite d banquet.den went to wdlds to meet monsta...he was late so i rushed to collect d dress i reserved..anywaes.. wen i collected d dress i couldnt help myself so i bought d 2 belts as well hahaha..so as i was abt to leave... d salesgirl said " excuse miss, i hav sumtin to let u know....if any of my frens calls u abt d dress, u jz say u dun wan d dress animore n ur not gona collect it "    'seriously???'    "yes seriously"   

 

haha so i smiled at dem n left d shop wonderin y on earth dey wana do that to their fren...so i went to meet monsta..he was bitin his nails cz he thought i was angry that he was late...jeng.. aniwaes d minute he saw me, he hug me tite lol..so we went to BK n ate dere dis bugger was goddaymit comical n hilarious..''wats so funny?? stop laughing lah!...ala.. hey i need sum silence when i eat ok....OK dt is a silent laughter bt i want sum peace!! alaaa stop laughin lah!"  he cudnt stop me frm laughin.. lol    n he eats so little...i was practically forcing him to eat...so we left.. den we boarded d bus den he sent me hum n here i am takin pics of my dearest items n updating.

 

o n btw im goin batam tmr morn n comin back late at nite... its a one day thing... gona get that massage my body has been yearning for... dis ACHING body ...toodles! here r d pics! n d black off-shoulder was sumtin i aredi had..hee

 

 

well had a long sleep n  woke up late for variasi but wat the hell why bother...den siap n headed for variasi..so i went to meet up wit farrah ..we went to see den we bbual sini sane jap den me farrah n najib went to go get a bit of food n drinks...we waited sumore for d AGM (annual general meeting) to start den wen we finally did.. only a few outsiders came...wich is soo ouch but good cz i wun hav to embarass myself too much..we had to act impromtu wich seriously sucks lah!!  aniwaes d food was gr8 d rendang was gr8 haha so aniwaes farrah got her new sony fon n she needed to buy her M2 card... so i told her that she shud go to ITfair n buy it cheaper than aniwhere else... bt she cudnt go dere cz she'd b busy so i offered ot go buy it for her... so me n najib went to suntec to go survey d thing.. its $35 SIA!!! n i bought mine for $39.. daymit... aniwaes tmr im gona go mit up wit darlings n we gona go suntec den accompany regina buy her stuff den we all gona go shangri-la collect pay n go hav dinner...well aniwaes today nutin much happend...monsta's werkin overtime today so hardly got d chance to talk to him...well now that im finally done i will put up d pics... JENG IM SO TIRED!!

well...lets c...it was teachers day so i went back to telok kurau sec n saw our dear sch n saw hw it changed..saw a few ppl whom i didnt wana see..students stil recognize me...had a few comments that i looked like a eurasian..wentto see d teachers n hugged here n dere...took loads of pics d minute amirah came... so me, yani n amirah camwhore all d way lah... our sch got pondok seh!!! haha..so while waitin for 2pm to come.. d 3 of us lepak at d bench that we mugged for O's...aft amirah left me n yani lay down n i eventually slept haha..so went to mit sarah at orchard mrt den went to look for my dad borders n he sent us to shangri-la hotel.. we were babes wit make-up haha... aniwaes we had to find d staff entrance wich was sumwat hard to spot..den we went to d security guard n i swear d mama security guard ws havin pms til he give us wrong directions n wasnt even clear abt wat he ws suppose to do...sarah complained to me that we were too early...so aniwaes we walked frm security to housekeeping to security back again to banquet office to security again den to banquet office den to housekeeping den to security den FINALLY we went ot change...obtw d distance btw each of d 3 locations is very far in a sense it takes 5mins to reach hee so d female locker room was so nice den we changed into d uniform.. i didnt realise i took a different material-ed uniform n it looks so weird..aniwaes d court shoes were KILLING ME!!! it hurt so bad.. i had to stuff tissue inside it jz to make it secure...eventually d tissue started hurtin me...aniwaes it was a fun n focused day for me...until a china guy pissed me off...we had 7 specific tables to serve n we cnnt serve other tables...we werk in a side station system in a sense that we portion d food for d guest n serve it to them...so example table A,B,C,D,E,F,G  are our tables rite... dis china guy in my grp serve d whole of table N. n none of d ppl in table F got their food..so dis blur sotong idiot is reli a blur sotong idiot...so i was super pissed i asked him ' do u noe wich are our tables or not?' in fact i asked him twice n i received d same response..he looked as if i wasnt even talkin to him n didnt even say a word. so eventually sarah told me to chilll n she asked him n chinese he said he thought table N was ours den she said.. 'pu se pu se na ke table pu se wo men de' den d scary big sized superivser hu spoke weird english like ' u take d food from here to d dere' , came to our grp n qns-d us n we told him wat happen so he told off d china guy ot only serve drinks n not d food...so aft that evryting went smoothly... dere were a few speeches here n dere n seriously dis apek navy guy ws super hilarious btw d event was a farewell dinner to RADM donnie tay chief of navy... jeng! dey made hilarious yet touchin cute videos for him...aniwaes i cudnt take it animore my feet were seriously killing me n d tray+food was heavy that my left arm muscle was in deep pain i cudnt lift it properly animore...aniwaes wen d guests started leavin we sneaked out sum dessert to d back of d kitchen.. d dessert was alrite ar.. haha.. aniwaes we got debriefed n received our free transport coupon.. we quickly changed den rushed to d loadin bay where all d taxis were... lucky sarah got to get a taxi first...while i had to wait for other woodlanders...n i tink i had to wait for a whole 10 mins at least den got a taxi den sat dere n chatted wit d driver... gosh was i tired!  my whole body wass aching all over... i cudnt walk properly at ALL!!!   

 

aniwaes i wudnt mind werkin dere again except i dun wana work wit such imcompetent ppl animore hee

 

well im seriously tired.. n i cnt reli rmbr wat happened to d exact detail bt i'll type wat i rmbr n i'll put in sum pics...WELL... d microbiology paper ws super dee duper difficult yet ok haha wat kinda ans is that! aniwaes it ws sumwat tough lah at least im happy i cud ans sum...i hope i dun hav to repeat d module...aniwaes in d exam hall i ws plannin to sleep in d last half hr cz i noe i cnt ans d qns aredi...den wen i saw sarah turn arnd to face me i signalled her n ask if wana leave d exam hall aredi... so we left hee..den slowly d rest of d darlings came out too... den we waited up for syafiq n calvin n we went to watch movie at sch library. d move NEXT. well lets jz say i fell aslip since i was super dee duper tired so wen i woke up NEXT finished i tink...so we watched notebook while waitin for monsta... he had to leave sch in d rain n go hum n get ready n all...so aniwae..halfway during d movie we left to mit monsta at yck mrt... evrybody was super hungry aft waitin soo long aniwaes we chit chat laugh here do stupid stuff dere...aniwaes we[me & monsta, sarah & syafiq, regina & calvin, n dear xiu xiu] ate at marina square food court... d ayam penyet SUPER NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha den monsta for sure cudnt finish his food den i kept goin ' muhammad arif!! i am not gona finish it for u' haha he kept wantin to feed it to me... jeng..we laugh sumore ... i forgot wat it was dt sarah or regina said bt i was lmao-ing haha so den we were super full evryone was happy n energized so we left for d IT fair at suntec...darlings kept sayin me n monsta very sweet..JENG! aniwaes we search here laugh dere.. merepek here.. window shop dere..i finally bought my M2 memory stick for my hp!! den we went to andy's shop...i was walkin towards d shop like a gangsta wantin to kill andy haha...den i shouted ' ANDY TEO!( raises eyebrows n stares at him in a way im sayin hi but sarcastically) den sarah was stoppin me frm enterin d shop hhaha.. she was scared id punch him...aniwaes we bought d laptop skin as well...den me n monsta had to go off aredi ..more like I had to go off cz gt SA dance...loads of hugs n kisses den i was off for dance..went back late cz had to memorize d rest of 'within' n salsa hiphop...thats d end of thurs... well d next day i'd be werkin wit sarah at shangri-la hotel banquet heeee

 

 

 

 

 

 

i tink dis is d first time u will see such a short line in dis blog.

 

im officially broken.

into pieces.

just broken. 

Just when I thought I have found someone
Who was everything I wanted him to be
Each and every quality I do desire
Someone of whom I can share his company

In the blink of an eye he walked out of my life
He left no notice all of a sudden his presence unseen
Why did my inner joy turn to my bad luck?
I'm confused on what happened in between
His great hugs halted to a barreling stop
His arms around me captivated me no more
His arms where I felt the safest in the world
Were merely a memory of a time once before

The days slowly rolled by into weeks
And weeks dragged into months after that
I had no where to turn and no soul to ask
Where art thou handsome prince at ?

But my heart did hold hope that we'd meet again
I'd hear your laugh and get to see your smile
I was right and with patience I got my wish
After waiting and keeping my heart in denial

Just walking along and doing my thing
I turned around to see you standing there
My mouth dropped in the instance my heart did stop
As my joy cascaded everywhere

How I wish it could've been in my dreams
To where you r tender warm lips met with mine
But right now dreaming is all I have of you
And i shall place my hopes and dreams with time

I didn't want to let go of your warm embrace
I dont want to have to wait again for us to reunite
I'm sure again time shall test my patience
But I can't wait to dream of you again tonight 

I just wanted a taste of your love
I just wanted to know how it was
just one moment to think I'm the one
just one chance to see how it's done
I just wanted one night to love you
I only asked for that chance to hug you
Just one moment of your time
Just to think that you were mine
All I wanted was a taste of your love

I never planned to get stuck in the moment
I never thought I'd regret that I'd done it
I'm still here and you're still somewhere
I'm still near and you're still not there
I never thought I'd need you like this
I never knew how much I could miss
I didn't plan to want you so bad
I didn't think it could drive me so mad
I never meant to get stuck in the moment

I wish I could've controlled my desire
I wish I could've held back the fire
I wish you didn't look at me the way you do
I wish you could see what I need you to
I wish I could've controlled my desire

Just last night I rediscovered this passion
Just last night I was rendered in fashion
And each time my eyes met your smile
I knew my heart was in denial
I just wanted a taste of your love
I just wanted to know how it was
just one moment of your time
just to think that you were mine
all I wanted was a taste of your love
....I never planned to get...
stuck in the moment....

dis was a poem i found sumwhere on dis earth... lol..its very sweet..i tink i'll post another one..